The voice in me

Ok! We are getting closer to finishing the first half of the year, and its been quite a roller-coaster. Some days better than others. Today was one such example of how life gives you the highs and the lows.

No need to go into details, but obviously work is involved since I spend much of my time there. Talk about my finances, things not adding up. but one thing I liked about it all, is that at the end of the day, I accepted the news, both the good and the bad. I don’t have it all figured out, but I still have my peace. The old me would have spent the night crying, asking myself a million questions. However today, I even dined with my work colleagues, chatting and laughing, sharing heartfelt moments. Back at my place, I know my reality has not changed, but I trust God will see me through, I will just do my part whole heartedly, the rest, he will have to chip in. After all am doing this life thing with him.

Of late , haven’t been really going to church, or participating much in church programs. Partly because I was swamped with work. But that doesn’t mean my relationship with God is non existent. Crazy how God is just so gently, so forgiving, and so welcoming. He loves me all the same, despite what I do, it don’t change anything. I guess to some extent my love for Him was also being tested, despite whatever happens will I keep on loving Him. Despite the closed doors, denied paths, missed blessings, misplaced passions, betrayal, disappointments, heartbreaks, all the things that happen to an average human being, will I still love Him. Turns out am stuck on Him too.

I didn’t land my dream job, I didn’t get the guy I thought I would marry, my net worth right now can be considered a joke. Am still not sure about my calling. I have lots of failed ideas. But here I am still believing. Though now its not believing for things, but just a genuine relationship with Him. Although all the things listed there were very much strong prayer points at some point in my life. I don’t know what the next 10 years hold for me, all I know is the only thing that has been consistent is God himself. So am just going to put my hand in His and see where this goes,