beyond measure
I asked Him, ‘why ?’ Didn’t get an answer. Maybe I never will. But I told Him the roots of my pain and distrust.
‘Your lifes trials will be testimony to someone ‘ they say! Hold on to your faith they say! But no one relates to my story. And my faith is barely hanging on to a broken wounded heart
Just another day in survival mode, with the question ‘Why?’ will the answer ever come
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
Not because I have been badly hurt before . Nor is it the fear of been heart broken
But because I know when i love it hurts me the most.
I give my whole heart without expecting anything back.
I put my life on the line with no regrets .
A love that goes beyond measures
Leaving me empty and lost
For me to love again I will need to know that there won’t be turning back. What I have to offer is what’s needed and such a love is what I also need.
After a long day at work, just found myself feeling a bit emotional. Nothing dramatic happened, but couldn’t help but feel awful inside. After some time meditating, praying ,a thought came to me.
What if am feeling this way because I have been giving and giving without taking time to recieve. My emotions have been invested in so many things. Been giving my attention, time and heart to things around me with nothing coming my way hence I felt so empty inside.
I the remembered one of Joyce Meyer’s sermons where she shared about how she has adapted a new habit. ‘To recieve God’s love.’ Also King David in Psalms 23, there is a part that says ‘He restores my soul ‘.
It’s not the first time I have felt this way. It happens more often than not. Now am starting to think that I do not refuel myself enough. I get cranked up emotionally because I will be now running on an empty cup.
Daily I need to take time to put back what has been taken . Daily I need to refill my cup. Daily I need to recieve God’s love.
That’s the way to go.
Cheers !
My current read has been triggering me from every side. Talk about finances, personal development, my faith, it’s been eye opening I must say.
But today’s chapter , exposed me.
I never had compelling enough reasons for doing anything, that’s why it has been always easy to quit.
What are my reasons?
I have to figure that out to stop making the same mistakes and for once have meaningful progress in my life.
It’s meant for me in this season of soul searching.
Everyone has a right to their own beliefs. I for one am of the opinion that animals welfare is better suited than animal rights.
Why do I say so, though am not much of a meat lover, am not an advocate for the idea of not having a barbecue because of violating animal rights.
Don’t get me wrong, I love animals. But am of the belief that these are beings given to us by God for us to take care of them and them taking care of us. We keep the cattle, they give us milk, meat, hide, the list goes on.
There is a sense of responsibility on our side to cater for their needs ,their well being, which is were animal welfare comes in.
What we can’t get from the natural means they will have to be synthetically manufactured. And I don’t know if that will be a good idea ,healthwise environmental friendly wise and the future .
If we can’t kill the animals then don’t kill the plants either. According to science they are also living beings.
And yes there is a difference between animal welfare and animal rights. I am an animal welfare advocate.
Cheers!
Been asking myself so many questions and I can’t seem to find the answers. In a volatile state, anything can happen and everything can change. It’s a very uncomfortable position to be and it’s all because of these questions. Questions I have to face in order to move forward. Career, faith, any many other life choices are all putting me in the hot seat.
The big question however is am I diving into deeper matters that have to be resolved or I have reered off into the deep dark woods am not supposed to be in the first place.
Not that it’s taking away my peace, but I sure do feel off balance as each choice can significantly transform everything and the effects will echo years into the future.
Should I change my career or not?
Should I start the business or not?
Should I quit my job or not ?
Should I migrate to a different country again or not?
Should I consider dating again or not (been 2 years now)?
Should I go back to school or not?
How do people decide what they want really? I can’t even tell if I enjoy what I do . My mind has always been trained to do what am supposed to do. The aspect of loving or enjoying is rather strange to me. I studied school so that I could pass and proceed. I went to college because it was expected of me that was the only road map. Now am working because I have to start taking care of myself as a grown up. Am supposed to do all these.
Read somewhere that people tend to find their niche when they answer the golden question ‘If there were no limitations what would you love to do?’ Well I don’t know.
Help a sister out.
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
It had been a very trying season. I was lost , heavily discouraged and couldn’t see the light ahead.
My teenage self was sinking in self doubt, loneliness and a deep sense of being a failure. I remember this day so well. Crying in my bed alone and no one knew of my internal turmoil.
But all of a sudden, I felt my atmosphere changing. It was as if a warm blanket wrapped around me. My tears dried and a deep sense of peace came from nowhere.
This had never happened to me before and I havnt experienced it again since then. But in that moment, it left like God was letting me know that He was there with me. He was holding me and that I shouldn’t worry. He was telling me that” Hey ,I love you, am here for you. Don’t cry.”
I felt known,I felt like I mattered and I felt loved.
What is your favorite animal?
I thought I wasn’t going to answer this one , but oh well here it is.
Eagle
I have often heard stories about this magnificent creature and must say, I have always been inspired.
Those are just some of the things I have been told about this bird. Not even to mention it’s physically features. The majestic, powerful wings, impeccable vision, strong daring claws, and yes the cry, as if it’s calling out for greatness.
On one of my trips I went for bird watching. Boy ! the joy that flooded my heart when I heard the eagles call, not to mention when I actually saw one.
It’s the eagle for me period.
Everything will eventually work out.
Just be still.
Think back on your most memorable road trip.
Yes it was just me. In a foreign land, foreign language and foreign culture. Never thought I had quit an adventurous spirit.
I took off early in the morning all by myself, determined to try something new. Had been told of a retreat site, remote, beautiful and peaceful but miles away.
This amazing experience birthed unexpected friendships, courage, confidence and pure joy, I never knew I could have.
Would I do that again?……most definitely!
The voice in me 