The voice in me

OK I will have to admit this has not been the easiest thing for me. I don’t know how many times I tried to discipline myself to different Bible study schedules, which just faded away uncompleted. Imagine the reading for the day being a chapter in the book of Numbers and its a list of names following the genealogy of someone. There is nothing that drains my spirit away than forcing myself to read the Bible, getting nothing out of it but still got to do so.

How do you all study your Bible?like seriously this is an honest question. I believe am not the only one who can sometimes feel so dry while reading my bible. Or don’t even feel like reading it to begin with. Worse still forcing myself to read and not even recalling a single thing right after . I hope it isn’t just me.

People in the Old testerment often talked about keeping the law, obeying the law, meditating the law (law being the word of God ). David even said that he kept God’s word in his heart that he may not sin against God. And one fascinating scripture even say Psalm 119:9
[9]How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
    By living according to your word.

Something about the word of God which is important for us to survive and even be preserved . In the new testerment I can think of Paul encouraging the saints to put on the whole armor of God , guess what? The word of God is there once again as the sword of the spirit. Something important about the word that’s for sure. We often been taught that we can’t please God without faith and also that faith comes from hearing the word of God. So many things relating to our Christian walk that points us back to the word of God.

But we can only know the word when we make time to read it. And we are motivated to read it when we understand it. We can only understand the word when been lead by the Spirit of God. Why do I say that , well if we read from our carnal minds, we may give it man made interpretations which is why I believe the Christian world is so divided, with so many ideologies, doctrines and theology, whatever that means.

Despite all that we still need to know and understand God’s word,which is why we are encouraged to study it. The question however is how can one do that. How can one grow in the word. How can one study the word of God effectively.

Well let’s find out.

Cheers !

The morning I decided to work on this topic, something frustrating but funny happened.

I planned on going into town and run a few errands. So since am not driving I had to use a bus. When I went to the usual bus stop ,unfortunately there were police there. For the few times I have used buses I have never waited for more than 3 minutes before something came up. But on this particular day and in that particular situation nothing was coming.

Needless to say of the silent truth about why I couldn’t get transport, I tried waiting. Slowly become annoyed then a full blown tantrum. In my head I was busy asking God ‘ I prayed for the success of this trip. So what is this supposed to mean. If you didn’t want me to go to town why didn’t you just say so.?’

I couldn’t wait any longer so I started walking, changing plans in my head. Decided to just go to the nearest shopping center but deep down I knew I would not find what I wanted. I literally just started walking off the roads onto another path . And what do you know. Buses passed by as if to spite me. You could be wondering ,why didn’t I just stop them. But I was already on a different road heading a different direction.

Fair enough I changed my mind again after seeing the buses and went back to the main road where I can get my ride. Guess what.! The buses stopped coming. Honestly people, it was like someone is trying to tell me not to go. I won’t explain how the rest of the story went, but I managed to go where I intended to go and got what I wanted to get.

Now reflecting on this , it got me thinking. There are some things we really want but we often seem either delayed or denied. We are never really sure of what exactly the answer is. And what gets confusing is the different ideologies people have come up with. Some will say you don’t have to fight for whats yours, while others say if you walk up to a closed door just open it because that’s what doors are for. In the moment, like the real situation , it’s not clear whether it’s delay or denial, and you not sure whether to fight for it or wait it out. The real question is ,how do you handle yourself?

Because obviously if it’s delay it just means There is a better timing for the fulfillment of your desires. And if it’s denial it means there is a better option well suited for you. But it’s not like God will say end that relationship, John is coming next year and will provide the wedding of your dreams. You will just never know it all.

Someone once said ,God always gives one of the 3 responses to our prayers. Either an instant yes, delayed yes or a ‘no I have somtething better’. The later 2 often makes the journey difficult. I guess that’s where patience comes in !

Cheers!

Let’s move on to the new month. February is here, started well on my end. Though I must say the end of January was a little rough on me. But thank God for giving us a chance to start again each month.

I gave myself a challenge at the beginning of the year,that I should buy a new book atleast, 1, every new month. For January I told myself I would start with a bible.

When I got it, I told GOD may this be a start of our relationship at a deeper level. It was pricey by the way. But I told myself I want to invest in what matters to me, after all it is pretty and worth it.

Am just glad that I managed to fulfill January’s mandate. Talked about peace and answered the question on choosing churches. For this month I guess I want to continue with the fruit of the spirit. Let’s talk about patience . As for question of the month:How can one study the Bible effectively?

I hope someone will follow through.

Cheers !

All I wanted was to belong. But like the wrong piece of the puzzle, I never found my place. Why so quiet they say, well if I speak up I speak too much. Why so distant they say, if I come close everybody leaves. Just be yourself they say, but then am so different. So different that they misunderstood me.

All I wanted was to belong. But here I am getting used to being alone. When they reach out , I retreat in my little shell. When. They try to find me, I burn the bridge that connects us. When they try to say hello,I say goodbye. The only copying mechanism I learned over the years, to shut everyone out.

It feels better that way. Cause after all I belong only to myself.

In as much as we don’t want to hear this ,because of our obvious self-centered nature, following God is all about submission, denying ourselves and carrying our cross.

Even I don’t want to write about this. But then I can’t escape this, as it is part of journey. Your reasons for being part of a church should be birthed from your desire to follow God. And that’s where it all starts.

When your heart is turned to Him, that’s when you find yourself desiring to aligning your life to His will. And that alone will be enough to guide you as to where to go.

Your mind will shift from

–what do I get from this to, what can I offer .

–who will help me to who can I help.

–nobody loves me to I should love others

I don’t know how He dose it, but He will use the very church you find yourself at to bring you closer to Him. But He doesn’t stop there. He transforms you to be able to help transform others.

So maybe the question shouldn’t be ‘which church is right for me’, but is your heart right for the church ?

It’s not everyone that will have a dream , seeing an angle saying join Calvary Christian Life Missions. For the rest of us, He works His mysterious ways to bring us to the right place based on what’s in our heart.

Like I previously asked, why do you want to join any church to begin with?

Cheers!

Sometime back in 2022, I hurt my leg in an accident. Luckily no bone was broken, just some soft tissue trauma. However, I noticed that even though it’s been more than a year, when ever I strain my self or get cold, the pain comes back, like today.

Am pretty sure a lot of people can relate to this, with different kinds of injuries. Back then, I was relieved that it was just soft tissue and that nothing else was damaged. I mean, I could walk and no need for casts or surgery. But I did not anticipate that it will be a pain I will carry for this long. I didn’t realise that I would be triggered from time to time.

Made me think about the unresolved issues I mentioned in my previous posts regarding peace. There are experiences we go through, that under certain circumstances we are triggered back into feeling hopeless, sad, discouraged, hurt,etc. The pain and frustration always resurface from time to time and pull us down in one way or another.

At some point in our lives we have to make peace with our past. The fact that it already happened means we can’t change it. Be it a decision or choice you made, or a misfortune that happened. So it means we need a way to cope or live with our past.

I remember mentioning something about the Prince of peace.

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
— Isaiah 9:6

When the Messiah was being promised, it was said He will be the prince of Peace. That means he will be the only one who can bring true peace: restoration, redemption, and reconciliation between You and God and everything else. Jesus came to bring peace in every aspect of our lives. That means not only between us and God but also us and everything else.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
— Philippians 4:6-7
So this verse would make perfect sense. It don’t say that the problems will be taken away, the memories will still be there, but when the issues resurface, your mind and heart is protected from the negativity it brings. You can’t change what happened but if not careful what happened may change you and not always will it be in a positive light. So rather protect for heart and mind from it.

Bring it all to Him

Cheers!

Yes why do I want to be part of a church? Maybe because I was raised in a family that was strict on church business. So now I have it ingrained in me that Sundays I must go to church. Or so that I find a group to be identified with when asked. Maybe to find an additional activity for the week for my mental health?

The reason why you want something can somehow influence where you put value to the thing in question . If I want to go to church meerly as routine, I may not exactly put much thought about the whole thing. To me the importance is attendance, whatever I will see or hear is merely an afterthought. But the fact that I have marked the register well, I will be good to go. If I want to attend church for keeping appearances, social acceptance etc, believe you me, the goal will be to look my best, sound my best, be my best in every single detail. But as to the happenings, it’s just part of the show.

What really then would be a good answer as to why I should be part of the church.

There is no better answer than to put myself in line with the church’s God given purpose to begin with.

In the good book. The church is often referred to as the body of Christ, or as the bride of Christ. Funny enough when they spoke of it as the body of Christ it was in reference of how the human body has different parts with different uses, all equally important but can’t function separately. When referred to as the bride, it was in reference with the bride being prepared to for the groom. And Frankly speaking no matter how ordinary looking one is but when it comes to the wedding day every bride is an angel. So in essence the bride being perfected to be without spot or blemish but perfect for the groom.

Being a Christian then means becoming part of this body where you have your own role to play, to be purified and worked on to bring out the best in you. But it not being about you alone, it being about us all working together.

If your reason for finding a church are still about you. Then know that you may never find the right church.

Cheers!

It’s been a stressful week couldn’t catch up with what I had started. But there is always room to come back.

Just incase you weren’t following, January is all about peace on this blog. Yes a journey to figuring out what is peace, how can we get it and why we need it. However I also said I will be working on a question regarding churches.

I moved far away from home recently .I’m in a different place, different state and as a Christian I still got to find a place to worship, fellowship and grow.

It’s been hard,not only am I scared of getting myself into some weird ocult unknowingly, but I fear drying off because I simply can’t find a church suitable for me.

There seem to be this strange spirit going around, making people lose interest in attending church. All of a sudden the church is nolonger a safe place. Manipulation and deceit is making the church lose favor in the eyes of the world.

At some point I got wrapped up into thinking that, ‘well I know the word, I know how to pray so why should I bother ?’

The book of Acts tells us about how the early church operated. Saints then, were encouraged to continue gathering, praying together fellowshiping and worshiping. They brought what they had and they shared it among themselves. The poor, orphans and widows were taken care of . That sounds like an admirable church.

They gathered to get to help each other stay strong in the faith in all aspects. What made their bond strong was their shared dedication to God and how set apart they were from the rest of the people. My question is, why is it we feel so comfortable everywhere else but just not the church? Could it be that we nolonger share the same dedication to God. We have diluted our values to such an extent that we relate more to non believers than we do to those who believe. Hence going to church feels more like a burden. Or the church diluted it’s value that it’s nolonger centered on equipping and growing our faith? Hence we don’t see the importance.

Nowadays people will choose a church based on what it has to offer, do I like the singing?, what’s the preaching style of the pastor?, are there too many programs? Will I find people in my social class or similar tastes ? But is that really what church is all about?

Perhaps when you are looking for a church to join. The first question should be: Why do I want to be part of a church to begin with?

Why do you go to church ?

Cheers !

Our day to day lives seem more like routines. We just get used to the world created around us . Birthed from our choices, whether they were good or bad bu have created our now reality. Despite the norm, from time to time we get overwhelmed emotionally.

Waves of life hit us all different. It’s not always a complete flip like being fired from your job, or divorce, sickness or death, which often take a real toil on us. Sometimes it’s just a random comment from your workmates, church mates, friend or family even, that gives you a realty check. A simple conversation, innocent in all respect, but makes you feel unease. A memory flash than slowly steals your smile. Meeting someone from your past who brings all the scars to light.

Am talking about the small waves that brings to life our unresolved issues. Big or small as long as they steal your peace, they have to be addressed otherwise it’s an opportunity the enemy can always use to beat you down in your game.

For a long time I had not made peace with my past disappointments and people who left me. Yes I went to college, yes I got a job, but in my simingly normal life ,not a day passed without these subtle waves making my whole world tremble.

I realized the lack of peace within myself is actually from my denial to come out of the box and address past hurts. I keep on putting it all aside ,pretending to be OK but really hurting somewhere deep inside. But then again how can I deal with this? I can’t mend back a broken path. I can’t go back in time to attain the so called failed goals or targets, which are probably irrelevant now, though they left a big scar. So how can I?

In my quest to understand this not so talked about fruit of the spirit, I came across an interesting title, PRINCE OF PEACE.

Let’s talk about that in the following posts .

Cheers !