The voice in me

I said I would get a little personal, guess I can start here.

Today, had one of those chilled solo dates, was in a quiet corner, having my Cafe latte and blueberry muffin with my current read.

Night before had cried myself to sleep, asking God why He had to create me. I was just seeing my flaws,weaknesses, disappointments. Not a single positive thing could come to mind. I pretty much felt defeated.

As I was reading, I realized what I was doing,  is exactly what the 12 spies did when they came back from spying on the land they were given by God . Site of giants inhabiting the land made them feel like grasshoppers.  I constantly feel this way with regards to my job. Either feeling like am not as good enough as the others out there doing the same job. Or feeling like all my  efforts  are insignificant, compared to the expected outcome. Feel like am always missing the mark, not brave enough to overcome and do my job well.

So yes I felt a little overwhelmed the day before and became drowning in self doubt, my insecurities rising above everything else. I literally doubted every decision I made during the day.  I know days like these exist for almost everyone. The question now is what do we do when we hit our rock bottoms which happens often than not ?

I looked at Joshua and Caleb, how I pray to have their courage.  It looked simple and possible to them because they believed that they weren’t alone to face the gaints.  Perhaps instead of looking at my weaknesses, I should look at His Strengths….as the book stated.

He allowed me to take this role so He equipped me to be enough. Am work in progress and He is the one working on me. All I have to do if fix my eyes on Him. He didn’t bring me this far to leave me.

By the way am reading ‘ Authentically, uniquely you‘  by Joyce Meyer.

Cheers!