The voice in me

The journey to rebuilding myself surly started from me realizing that something was not right . Hence the need to make certain changes and certain decisions in my life. However I did not expect this to happen.

This morning was a little bit emotional about everything. Yes, I made my road map to what I need to do in this season. (The whole calculate the cost thing ).  But I felt like even if I try doing all this, how sure am I that it’s going to work? I was feeling a little helpless and hopeless.

Since all this was in the morning, I just decided to fast about it and ask God to help me know how to handle all these emotions.

While praying, I got reminded of the story of Peter and Jesus when He walked on water. Matthew 14: 22-36. Peter looked at the realities of the waves around him and that’s when he started to drown.

Jesus did not just catch him, but shed light into my dark moments, by just asking a single question.  “Wherefore didst though doubt? “

That hit me to the core. I was focusing so much on the waves ,didn’t realize I was allowing doubt to creep in and take away the faith as well as the miracle/ blessing.

Honestly neither did I have the answer as to why I was doubting God. I realized that throughout the year, I have been looking at each wave as it was hitting on me. I forgot that I wasn’t alone and that I was walking towards Jesus in the first place.

It’s easier said than done ,to “live by faith” they say. But then again why do we doubt in the first place ? Does God ever fail?

Cheers !