The voice in me

I don’t know if its just me or there are a couple other people out there who can relate.

There are times where I find it so hard to believe God’s promises for my life. Infact, it can reach the extent that I feel lost that I ask myself if I even know the promise or if I even have one. My sister had appotunity to share God’s word at my local church and I feel like if you are in my shoes this could help you. Especially in times of doubt and you nolonger know what to hold on to.

Will be posting the sermon notes in segments divided over 5 days for an easy read. I hope you will be encouraged.

Cheers!

Following my previous post. Yes it’s the time to pick a side . Also a time to let your voice be heard.

Let God’s love flow through you . Let God’s word guide you. And let God’s spirit lead you.

While the world is confused about what’s right and what’s not right, we are responsible to let the world know what the creator of the world says. This generation of Christians have been entrusted with the truth to let the world know. You and I, have a calling, weighing on us.

Don’t be silent when you find yourself in a position where you can stand for the kingdom of God. He is counting on you to help save others .

Cheers.

Being a believer in Jesus Christ, has been harder in this generation. So many doctrines are being birthed, people’s hearts have been turned against God. We seek self gratification than actual sanctification.  We follow our hearts rather than denying ourselves.  Time and time again our faith is being tested.

The main question has been ‘so what can one do in these trying times?’ All I can say is let the light in you shine. This is the moment to live according to what the Bible says. These are the times to stand by the truth in His word and not what the world has approved.

For such a time like this, you were created to live the life that He calls for. Take the narrow path. There is no need for more signs for you to realise that these are the last days.

It’s time to pick a side. There are no in betweens.

Chapter 9

It was an intense 5 hour meeting, emotional and tearful. Martha gave much detail about the very reason she was sent back. Another meeting was to be arranged and all her children were invited to come as well as her ex husband.

Ruth followed through the story,  the only part that was not being addressed was where her daughter was. She felt awful about not being there for Martha when she needed the support and prayers. It was hard for her to maintain her composure throughout the meeting.

The second meeting however was more of a healing session.  The bishop could see that a family was being restored, the wounds of yesterday were being revealed and healed. It was a prophetic sign that God intended to restore family dynamics in the church. The whole experience gave him such a passion and conviction that it was time to bring back the old time family community.  The brokenness people were experience were a result of doors opened when the family system was destroyed.  Not only did he feel led to the ministry of reviving families, he felt the need to restore his own family as well.

Pastor Mike’s experience was no different,  however, he was surprised at how one of his strongest member was actually held down by such evil forces.  He started to think about his other members, how much more could they be in their situations. He realized he was leading people he didn’t actually know where they were and their full potential to be whole. But that was about to change. As a shepherd he was going to do better.

The meeting ended with much repentance and restoration. As they were wrapping up Martha just collapsed. They rushed her to the nearest hospital. The ER team took her in and tried the best they could, eventually was pronounced dead.

Another heart break. Ruth had witnessed an entire family being delivered  but all she got was this. Lisa and her family were going to work things together, but she was going to be by herself.  She grew up an orphan, her reaped up family was all she had. And now she was alone.

“May I please have just but a minute with her before you take her to the mortuary. I just want to say my goodbye”, the kind nurse left the room at Ruth’s request. 

“Am sorry sweetie,  I just couldn’t protect you enough. If we could switch places I would gladly offer my life. All I ever dreamt of was having a family. I guess I can only be grateful for the 17 years of your life. Dear God, if it were possible to bring her back to me ,I promise I will try harder to be a better person.  Am lost right now, life ahead does not have a meaning, if you can’t bring her back ,then take me also ‘ She burst into uncontrollable tears. No one could ever understand the depth of her pain.

Ruth was holding Tasha’s hands when she suddenly felt a nudge. At first she ignored it, then she heard a cough. Her heart was racing now.  Then came the word she hadn’t heard in weeks now. Words that revived her inner soul and brought hope in every part of her being in just a few seconds.

” mummy, I saw Jesus “.

The end of part 1………

Chapter 8

Ruth could hardly keep still. The airline service was just too slow and she just needed to get her ticket. She kept battling within herself.  What if it was some sick joke? Why did they ask her not to involve the media?  Why couldn’t they let her see her daughter?  There was only one way to get the answers, and that’s exactly what she was doing. Finally,  out of sheer luck. She got the last ticket available, in a couple of hours she would find her answers. The longest flight she was to ever make, everything not making sense at all.

“Pastor Mike, Martha or Tasha, what ever her name is, hasn’t said a word,today. How do we know it’s not some kids play. She just wanted to run away from home and made this all up. ” Mary, the receptionist, brought back the subject. “We have already agreed that we will talk this over with both families involved present and get to the bottom of this,  the mother is on her way now and Lisa can hardly pull herself together,  so would you stop with this your questioning ,it’s not helping”, pastor Mike growled. He was tired.  It had been the most unexpected revelation. Who would have thought that in his time he would come across such a thing. This sort of things were only supposed to happen in movies, but here they were in the middle of what one would describe as bizarre.

The meeting was set at the church offices, it was to be as private as possible. The Bishop from out of state was called in to help. Pastor Mike was not keen to handle the matter on His own. Most of the church leaders were not informed about what was happening.  From the church it was only Pastor Mike and his wife, Bishop Mckenzie and Mary the secretary ,that were to attend the meeting. 

The day arrived, everyone was nervous, a lot of prayers were put in but now it was time to get the story right. Ruth sat there quietly, not sure how to take things. She was looking at her daughter,  who was pronounced dead 6 weeks ago. She herself had seen her body, brused badly, yet here she was perfectly fine. Her mannerisms were different, she sat and talked like an old lady. Who knows what was coming next.

“OK I know this is a very unusual circumstance, but we are in the house of the Lord and we shall begin with an opening prayer. ” Pastor Mike led the opening prayer then gave the floor to the Bishop. “Once again this is a strange and very sensitive situation which is why we asked that the public be excluded until we have figured out what is going on. Martha or Tasha,  you are the one who has brought us here. You came to this church a few weeks ago and fainted,  that’s when Lisa took you in to help you find your way home. However, all this has come to light and I understand you may be as confused as we all are. But am going to ask you to tell us what you remember happening before you came to the church. ” the calm tone of the Bishop’s voice was fitting and made everyone at ease. He spoke with such wisdom, gentle yet with control.

“All I know is I was in my house, the pain just got too much, I was failing to breath. I closed my eyes and then woke up in this room where I was with this young lady. I believe her name is Tasha. We both didn’t know where we were or how we got there. From nowhere a bright light shone . It was so blindening we had to cover our eyes. Someone called our names and asked us to step forward.  We were told that our time on earth was over, the books were to be opened.  I was terrified. The girl couldn’t stop screaming and crying. I don’t know why but I just held her hand and she looked at me and disappeared.  Now it was just me in the room. Another voice called out to the first. Telling them that I had 1 last assignment.  They walked me through my life’s journey, showing me all the wrongs I had done. My biggest sin was not fully forgiving my husband when he left me. All the works that I did in the church, in my community was canceled out because I didn’t forgive completely. I remember crying out loud, for mercy because I knew that I wasn’t going to heaven. It had become clear that I was dead and this was my time to face judgement. Never did I dream that I wouldn’t make it to heaven. My name was not found on the listed . The second voice then told me that a second chance has been granted but it is only for me to make amends. Hearing these words made me see how merciful God is. I wasn’t deserving. I made my children suffer. Their lives today is as a result of how I handled my disappointments and hurt. But still he told me to come back. I didn’t know how I was going to do that, next thing I wake up in a church. With my memory entirely wiped up. I only knew my name and where I  came from. But when I saw Lisa, I remembered her as my daughter.  Memories  came back as everything she did was what I was shown about how I had lived my life. So many times I wanted to talk to her, but I just couldn’t. Time went by, allowing me to enjoy at least a moment with my daughter and grandchildren. In summary am only here to ask for forgiveness from my children, and to forgive my husband. Once that is done, I will be able to enter into His rest.

Lisa couldn’t help herself anymore. This had triggered all her past pains that never healed. Ruth on the other had still had questions.  ‘WHAT ABOUT MY TASHA?’

Chapter 7

“It’s been weeks now and they are not giving us answers.  We can’t even take our time to grieve. It’s the worst feeling ever”. The sadness in the voice of the woman in the TV  drew the attention of Lisa. Apparently her home town was drawing the attention of the media. 

“Nothing good ever comes out of that place. I left for a reason. “, Lisa finally broke the silence drawing back a few tears. She had always been an emotional person. Seeing the lady in the TV telling her dreadful story made her own heart swell up. Martha just smiled .

As they finished cleaning up the toys the boys had left scattered. Lisa came to a complete Hault . She was screaming at the boys for leaving such a mess when right in front of her eyes was her mother. Her smiling face, with a few more years added from when last she saw her. The screen stitched and a different face appeared. This was a list of the 6 bodies that went missing at Central state hospital. Her own mother was gone and she didn’t even know about it. Before it could all sunk in. Martha’s face appeared, with the name Tasha Kooper. They both froze.

Chapter 6

“Martha, would you mind staying with us while we help you find your way home. ” hesitate she replied, “I would be most grateful “.Lisa being her usual talkative self continued,  ” It’s been a long time since I have been there, the only contact I have is that of my mother. But we haven’t spoken in edges. I got to say, the past few months, I feel like God was telling me to reach out to her.  Which I haven’t gathered enough courage to . You coming here is a sure starting point. In as much as am helping you, you are also helping me.”

Martha just gave a weak smile.  That’s when it got to her. Her daughter didn’t know she was possibly dead, she had so much hope to reconnect with her but that was going to be a dead end.  She herself didn’t even know where her body was, not to mention whose body she was using and how it had happened. 

A few days went by, each time Martha wanted to tell her daughter about what was happening, it was as if something held back her words. The will power to talk, move or do anything would be withdrawn. Lisa on the other hand could tell something was bothering her and each time she wanted to talk about it, she just couldn’t. What was more frustrating was her mother not picking up her calls or returning the messages.  Eventually the number was no longer going through. All she could think of was how selfish mother had been. And now she only wanted to make amends but mother was not meeting her half way.

It was a Saturday afternoon,  a whole week of trying to help Martha, find her home. They were in and out of the police station trying to find answers.  Martha herself no longer knew where she was or who she was.

The past week had been killing her soflty as she saw her daughter making the same mistakes she did after her husband left. She could see how the boys were slowly drifting from their mother. She saw how eager Lisa would try and serve in the church but leave her babies. She tried so hard to help her find her home but she wasn’t creating a home for her own children. 

She couldn’t take it any longer.  Her daughter deserved better, and she just had to stop the cycle.

Chapter 5

“Excuse me, are you ok?”  Martha opened her eyes. She was surrounded by concerned strangers, all trying to help her get up. What had happened?  where was she now ? and who were all these people ?

It seems like she was in church, but not her usual church. Before she could make sense out of everything, right before her eyes stood Lisa,  her middle child. She also looked worried and wanted to help. But strangely she didn’t recognize her.

Martha got up, feeling a bit woozy,  she was helped to her sit. The pastor continued the service while a nice lady sat close to Martha holding her hand offering some kind of reassurance that everything was alright.

After service the nice lady introduced her self. “Hie sweetheart, sorry I did not get to introduce myself let alone speak with you. Poor thing, you look very shaken. Am Lynn and what’s your name?”. Hesitantly she whispered  “Martha”. Wait, that was not how her voice sounded!  She cleared her throat and tried again.”My name is Martha. Where am I?” Still, something was not right. “It’s ok relax, you are safe Martha. You are in church, Graced Ministry.  Did you come here with your mom or anyone or by yourself ?” “I don’t even know how I got here but am by myself”. ” Okay. Where are you coming from?” “Um, aah. I don’t know Lance city. ” ” that’s ok , do you remember how you got here?” ” No. I just remember being home then the next thing, I don’t know am here, am I not dead or are we all dead ? ” Lynn could tell this young lady was confused and lost.” That’s alright,  is there anyone back home we can call , so that they know you are ok?” ” No, there is no one, I stay alone , have always been alone.”. ” You stay alone !, how old are you honey? ” ,” Am 57 years old”. The surprised look on her face confirmed Martha’s fear. The voice wasn’t hers, her body wasn’t hurting anywhere and she hadn’t felt as alive as she did now, her eye sight was sharp and she was never hairy before.  She wasn’t in her own body.

“Lisa, would you come here for a second.”. “Always eager to help Lynn. Hie there.” “Martha , this is Lisa, she is also from Lance city, but moved here some years back. Lisa this is Martha ,we want to find her family and help her get back home safe.” ” OH that’s no problem,  it’s been years since I went back home. Why don’t we grab lunch and talk it out. You look rather pale and hungry.  Let me get my kids and we get to it ok.”

It felt sereal to see her daughter and her two beautiful grand kids. If it was a dream she hoped not to wake up. It was beautiful watching the two youngsters fighting to take the first pizza slice, and their mother trying to bring peace at the table. “Jake and Judy will the two of you just stop it, you are driving me insane.” ” But it’s my turn to take the first slice, last time it was Jude.” “Did not!”,”Did to!” “Did not!”.”Mom ,this is not fair it’s my turn today”. Jude swooshed his way to the box, without a second thought took not only one but two slices. And looked at his brother “I got it anyway”. This made Jake scream in anger and hatred.  It was supposed to be his turn and his selfish brother got his way again. “Jake put those slices back in the box now. Neither of you are going to eat that pizza, till you learn your manners.” Martha just watched in delight. How she had longed to be part of her children’s lives.

Chapter 4

“Martha , what do you see?” A voice thundered through the room. And right before her eyes a screen  rolled up, she could see the time Her husband left. To her surprise, the man lived to regret of his decision. She saw all the wicked plots and skims the younger woman, Melissa was doing . Though she vowed to hate him for ever, part of her heart arched .

“You chose not to fully forgive,  and that is what binds both of you in great despair. You tied yourself to his yoke and carry the burden together, if only you had forgiven him. Things would have been a lot better for you.”

A new screen appeared,  it was divided onto 3. She saw her children. Each had suffered terribly when the father left. They had their silent battles that constantly hit them to the ground. She could see how she was too busy trying to prove to the world that she is a lovely lady that was left by a cheating horrible man. And neglected her children in the process.  She denied them to see their father, and resulted in them growing a profound hatred towards her. Even though she worked hard to provide everything they physically needed. She deprived them of emotional need. Martha was surprised to see her youngest daughter walking into a mental health institution held in cuffs. The oldest son in and out of jail over the past years and the middle child sadly in a marriage that ended exactly like how hers did. They were all suffering and non had found peace in life.

“You should have paid attention.  The signs where always there, but you held on to your pain and forgot that you could still love. You chose to prove your innocence to the world at the expense of the future of your children. You never listened to them. You never heard them.”

In tears, Martha could not find words. She simply went on her knees. “Am sorry, I never knew, I never realized. If only I could make it right, please help them for me as I can nolonger do so. They don’t deserve this. I should have done better.” Those were the only words she could find herself saying. The truth lay before her eyes and it was different from what she had lived to believe.

Chapter 3

It had been a busy morning, Lucy was done for the day. Her shift was soon ending and she had her fingers crossed that non of the stuff nurses will pull out another stunt that will delay her from leaving work. It had been an eventful week so far and she could feel the stress weighing over her shoulders. One more would throw her off that was for sure. 

As she checked her watch, it was a few minutes before she would leave, Tamara came running frantically. She almost fainted,  could hardly breath let alone speak.  “Sister Lucy , we have a body missing.” That was it. A other story to hit the weekly headlines. And it was always her shift that these crazy things happening. Tamara was one of the senior employees who had earned the respect and trust of most if not everyone at the State hospital.  She always took her job seriously and one could tell she had her heart into every detail. For her to be in such a state, meant that everything had been thoroughly checked and indeed there was a missing body.

It was all over news. It got the attention of the nearby towns and soon enough the whole country was bussing. A number of families were coming up on different platforms claiming that Central state Hospital had made the body of their beloved ones to disappear.  It was catastrophic, Mr Boho was facing serious allegations and law suits.  Investigations were underway but no clue what so ever was being found.  Day after day the bereaved families would gather at the entrance  demonstrating ,demanding answers.  Ruth was not going to let it slide.  She wanted to see her daughter 1 last time. It was her baby that was first reported missing before a series of 5 other bodies. There seem to be no explanation and no one had answers.

Seems like it was only the beginning,  no one was prepared for what was coming next. Their lives as a town was about to take a twist.